Review: Know My Name by Chanel Miller

Chanel Miller's ground breaking truth comes to break apart the victimhood that comes with sexual assault.

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@shereadsbooks.sometimes

Dates read: 26/09/24 to 19/01/25

Word to describe: A needed education (more than one word today)

Star rating:⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Genre: Memoir, Non Fiction

Trigger warnings: If you are familiar with the Stanford Sexual Assault case then you may already know the extent to which this book will divulge. But for those unaware.

Sexual assault, rape, penetrative assault, digital assault, sexual violence, victim shaming, court proceedings, depression, mental health representation, bodily harm, details of sexual crimes, details of rape kit examination, teenage death, grief, suicide, racism, xenophobia.

When news broke world-wide about the young woman ceremoniously named Jane Doe who was raped at Stanford University by Brock Turner my world stopped. Time and time again had I read news articles online of women being abused and assaulted yet at fifteen years old this particular news made me sick. I scoured the comments from older men and judgmental women deeming Jane Doe a stupid young girl for getting drunk. Brandishing her a liar. Calling her drunken sex gone wrong and having heated discussions about Brock Turner and his valuable future being ripped apart for a minutes of action. I was disgusted. Yet, all the way from the UK I wanted to offer my support for Jane Doe. The Stanford University sexual assault case took hold in my mind for many years and I would reference it many times as one of the greatest injustices for a sexual crime.

Chanel Miller broke her silence and her anonymity when she published Know My Name - a book I found too late. I spent many months reading this and taking breaks in between bouts of reading because the topic was so heavy. I want to call Chanel brave and amazing and many other congratulatory sounding words but it would offer little. Chanel is an exceptional writer and very clearly an intelligent and thoughtful woman. She broke though the suffocating word that is victim and victimhood and showed the world that yes she was sexually assaulted but no this does not define her.

Know My Name starts out with Chanel describing herself from a young age - opinionated yet shy, she talks about her the day of the attack with wonder and how like anyone in their 20's she didn't want to go to a teenage party but went to keep her younger sister safe. Chanel describes her memory loss and waking up in the rape crisis clinic and in pain details tells readers the process of determining sexual assault and the invasiveness of the procedure - even more so when this young woman didn't even know why she was there.

The book goes on to describe her life after the assault and how she met her assailant by news article where he was described as a young man destined for greatness because he was an athlete. She talks about her grief for her former self, her mental health decline, and the isolation she felt from those around her. She mentions how little she knew of the case going ahead, how she was kept in the dark about that night, how she learned details on the day of the court summoning, how she had "won" but it didn't feel like it.

The sheer depth and detail Chanel writes of her experiences truly brings to light how as a globe we mistreat those who are sexually assaulted. We call them victims yet do not offer help. We call them liars even when evidence is shown. And we consistently bring conversations about promiscuity of the woman but never the rapist. We turn our attention to the attacked and not the assailant. Time and time again sexual abusers are given small sentences, are let go entirely, or shame the victim enough so they do not attempt to seek justice.

This book was maddening. It was a turmoil of emotions that caused my brain to separate the facts into small boxes. Viewing Chanel's story as fiction because it was too heart-breaking and unjust to be truth. But it is the truth. Chanel's story deserves to be heard by all.